So I went golfing today. It was somewhat of a frightening experience. Yes, I had fun, but because of the "wind" I didn't do so well. No that isn't an excuse, since I don't make excuses except when I need to.
The point of golf is to smack a little round white thing until it submits to your desires and flees down a shallow little hole. You could say that it is training minds, young and old alike, to resort to violence to get their way. The trick is being persistent enough to outsmart the ball, which hereafter shall be referred to as the "little devil" using maneuvers like saying outloud "I didn't want you to go in there anyway" and "What's that over there? *SMACK*" Such tactics are useful. For example reverse psychology, though seemingly has no effect on the ball, sure makes me feel better. Trickery is also amusing because the second the little devil sees which way you are trying to aim (prior to beating it with a huge metal club) it positions itself to raise havoc with your shot. I haven't figured out why it likes to do this since it means it is only going to have to get smacked that many more times. (Perhaps that's why golf rounds end at all. The ball decides its had enough fun and is getting a bit sore. This makes all the more sense in the PGA, since the people there can club the thing so stinken hard. The little devil gives up faster.)
To make the situation somewhat more encouraging I was washing my clothes at my brother's house before we went (so my short were all wet), so he let me borrow his plaid Irish golfing shorts since it was quite warm out. They were quite stylin'.
Well, now I have 6 little devils sitting in my house. A few minutes ago I caught one trying to get down the garbage disposal (no doubt to inflict more misery on me when I turned it on next time), so I'm contemplating locking them in microwave. All of this leaves me thinking, "Why do I inflict myself with such problems?" The reason: it's fun.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 tim. 4:7
ReplyDelete"i have finished my course..."
BoM
"the course of the Lord is one eternal round"
"Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course."
"I'm hitting the woods just great! But I'm having a terrible time getting out of them."
Loved the post. Beware, 6 will turn into 12 then 24 then 48, then you start to find them under the bed and in your car at random times, then the tees show up and you discover random single ones everywhere... It's just their way of providing the constant reminder to go have "fun". :) I loved it.
I got to the part about the Irish shorts and from then on could only picture you in a Scottish kilt. Try that next time you're out golfing, though I'd wait until this wind dies down (and not just because you have a harder time playing in the wind). Spare the rest of the world.
ReplyDeleteMy little devils must love me, because they seem perfectly content to be hit around a dozen or two times on each hole. I'm just so nice, I guess.